conk! and some offhand medical sayings

dang, i'm conking out. the last 2 weeks have been grueling. why is it so hard to just go to work every day? i'm on call again tonight.


gruel.
wait, i know - duh! i haven't been sleeping. or rather, i do fall asleep - uncontrollably, at 8:30 pm - but when 2 am rolls around, it's apparently time to get up. plus rufus, plus thyroid and vitamin d problems, plus the workload, plus the stress load. my world is currently composed entirely of sick, suffering, and crazy people - and a hell of a backlog of scut. things impossible to avoid. things make a body tired.

but i forget - probably because of the tired, which produces delayed mentation - that these are actually good reasons i can't keep up, that these are actually good reasons yoga breathing and medicine and healthy snacks and a prayerful attitude do not suffice. there's no way out, right? but i forget, and engage in negative self-talk ("stupid, stupid, stupid!"). but the only way out is through, right?

not to mention,
"at what point is the enemy of good better?"
- tired obstetrics chief resident

and, "easy to become anger is a stage."
- tired russian fam med resident

and, "you get into a shrinking box of danger
with some of these people."
- tired doctor with yeeeeeears of experience

i'm just saying.